Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize