There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I think we might need a safe word for this...
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
