Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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