dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
