I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
