Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
