i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize