it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
third nipple confirmed
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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