Screwed.edu
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
