would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
time to smoke my breakfast
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
