I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
