Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
