How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
