Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
how drunk are you?
Several
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
