i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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