I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
