Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
