I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
