it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
