who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
