he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
he was CRYING into my vagina
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
