i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
