Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
