why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize