Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
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