Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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