I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
