i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
