Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
