is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
