Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You pole danced in your parka.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
last night I used snow as a chaser
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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