i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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