Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
