I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
