My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
