Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
