Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
