Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
