I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
