I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
