Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
