Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
