when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
