idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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