she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
