As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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