Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
