My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
