So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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