i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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