we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
