So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Is it because I queefed?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
