Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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