I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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