u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize