I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
