it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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