I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
