I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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