yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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