The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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