Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
