Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
