the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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