You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
So vagazzling was a success
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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