I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
